Don't you forget about me: Marvel Movies if they were made in the 80s

A few months ago I found this video...It's a look at the Amazing Spider Man as envisioned by director Wes Anderson.

Yes, it would be weird to see a Rushmore-esque Peter Parker in a Royal Tenenbaums style landscape, but it would be a cool departure from the paint by numbers Hollywood formula that we are so used to.  I started thinking about how cool it would be to see Marvel movies from other directors in other eras.  What would the world be like if we had an Iron Man movie in the 1980s?  Who would play Tony Stark?  So, let's dive into....1980s Marvel Movies

First off, when we sit down in the theater to watch our Marvel movies now, we get this stylized logo...

In the 1980s, this is the logo we would see on screen before our movie started....

For anyone who ever watched the Muppet Babies in the 80s, you remember that terrifying looking Spider-Man emerging out of the black abyss, turning silver and looking like he's going to eat your brain.  

Iron Man

 Billionaire industrialist Tony Stark is in Afghanistan on a covert mission to help arm Afghan rebels fight the Soviets.  Stark's convoy is attacked by Soviet soldiers.  He survives, but is badly wounded.  The Soviet soldiers force Stark to make weapons for them.  With the aide of another prisoner, Nobel prize winning Chinese physicist  Ho Yinsen, Stark is able to keep himself alive and builds an amazing suit of armor.  He is able to free himself, yet Ho Yinsen dies in the escape attempt.  From that point on, Tony Stark becomes Iron Man.  The Soviets send in their own armored hero, the Crimson Dynamo and the two have a spectacular battle above Moscow and in the streets of New York City.  (Since this is set during the 1980s cold war era, we can also include the Black Widow as a Russian spy, turned defector.)

     Cast:  Harrison Ford as Tony Stark/Iron Man (1980s cred: Blade Runner, Raiders of the Lost Ark), Sigourney Weaver as Natasha Romanov/ The Black Widow (80s cred: Ghostbusters, Aliens, That Gorilla movie where she plays Diane Fossey), Danny Glover as Jim Rhodes (80s cred: Lethal Weapon, The Color Purple where he plays a real bastard, that creepy Ice Man movie that scared me when I was a kid) Rutger Hauer as Crimson Dynamo (80s cred: The Hitcher, Blade Runner, Ladyhawke...He was one scary bastard in all these movies.)

     Director:  Ridley Scott.

Reasons Why:  Ridley Scott could do gritty, real world influenced Sci-Fi like no one else in the 1980s.  Blade Runner is a fine example.  Harrison Ford has was Han Solo and Indiana Jones...that's all you need to know!  He can play the dashing, funny, arrogant type that Tony Stark personifies.  Visually, Harrison Ford does not look like Tony Stark at all, especially the 80s Tom Selleck-y mustache and mullet Tony Stark.  However, Ford has all the swagger to make him a believable Tony Stark of his era.  Sigourney Weaver has shown in the Alien movies that she is a kick ass action star worthy of the Black Widow role.  Danny Glover proved in the Lethal Weapon movies that he is the level headed partner that every crazy hero needs.  Finally, While Rutger Hauer isn't Russian, he's proven that he is great at accents and has the intensity it takes to play a sinister Cold War era villain.  This would have been the blockbuster action film of 1986!

Spider-Man

 High School outcast Peter Parker is bitten by a radioactive spider during a field trip to a research lab.  He's imbued with amazing powers which he immediatly uses to make money as a masked wrestler.  During a pros versus schmoes type challenge, Peter fights Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant, beating both men and taking home a big cash prize.  He lets a robber escape, resulting in the shooting death of his beloved Uncle Ben.  Peter learns to use his powers for good and becomes Spider-Man.  He tracks down his Uncle's killer only to learn it was the man he let escape.  Peter soon comes head to head with the yuppie industrialist turned super villain Norman Osborn/The Green Goblin.

Cast:  John Cusack as Peter Parker/Spider-Man. (80s cred:  One Crazy Summer, Say Anything, Better Off Dead) Molly Ringwald as Mary Jane Watson. (80s cred: Are you kidding me?  She was Miss Thang back in the 80s!  Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink) Judd Nelson as Harry Osborn (80s cred:  The best 80s angst ridden bad boy-Bender in Breakfast Club.) Micheal Douglas as Norman Osborn/Green Goblin (80s cred:  Jewel of the Nile, Fatal Attraction, Wall Street)
Director: John Hughes
Reasons why:  John Hughes was the go to director when you wanted some angst ridden teen drama that was also clever, quirky and down right funny.  He also proved that he could write and direct science fiction tinged movies with Weird Science.  He would have been perfect to bring the 80s Spider Man to life.  John Cusack can play the everyman like no one else.  He would bring Peter's super hero struggle to life in a fun and exciting way.  Molly Ringwald is a good actress when given the chance.  She has the looks to play Mary Jane and she can out act Kirsten Dunst any day of the week.  Judd Nelson could be a funny, friendly best friend to Peter while at the same time hiding a sinister dark side.  Micheal Douglas is the epitome of 80s yuppie bad guy, he could bring his Gordon Gecko style sleaze to make Norman Osborne a classy threat to Peter and the gang.

Captain America

Steve Rogers, a puny yet wildly patriotic young man volunteers to undergo an experiment in that would turn him into America's super soldier and help win WWII.  The young man becomes Captain America and helps battle Hitler's army of strange and powerful super villains like Red Skull, Arnim Zola and Baron Zemo.  During a battle with the Red Skull, Cap defuses a missile headed for New York in mid air.  The missile self destructs over the Atlantic Ocean and Cap falls into the icy water.  Presumed dead, Captain America is remembered as a hero and his image was used to bolster morale and win the war.  Captain America's living frozen body is discovered by Tony Stark (Harrison Ford) while on an expedition.  Stark uses his state of the art tech to revive Cap.  With the aide of S.H.E.I.L.D commander Nick Fury, Cap is brought back into the modern world, only to find that the Red Skull is still alive and living large in New York City under a new identity.

Director:  Stanley Kubrick.
Cast:  Matthew Modine as Steve Rogers/Captain America (80s cred: Full Metal Jacket and.....ugh Married to the Mob.) Christopher Walken as The Red Skull (80s cred: View to a Kill, Deer Hunter, Pennies from Heaven) Kurt Russell as Nick Fury (80s cred: Big trouble little china, Escape from New York, Overboard...and beyond movies he's been Goldie Hawn's dude for like 30 years, that's cool.)

Reasons Why:  Stanley Kubrick directed one of the most dramatic, stylish war films ever made and made amazing achievements in the world of psychological horror with the Shining.  This pedigree alone would make him a really interesting choice to direct America's super soldier.  Imagine the detail and effort Kubrick would put in both the 1940s era and the "modern day" of the 1980s.  This would be eye candy and still have people talking about it and dissecting every frame.  Matthew Modine is an actor that is really hit or miss with me, when he's bad...he's really bad.  When he's great, he knocks it out of the park.  Case in point, Full Metal Jacket.  Pump Modine up a little more, give him a straight laced character like Steve Rogers and you'll have a Captain America to remember.  Kurt Russell would be a fun Nick Fury.  Since this movie is in the 80s, we wouldn't have the Samuel L. Jackson inspired Nick Fury...Plus, no one really knew of Samuel L. Jackson in the 80s, at that point he was still starting out.  The 80s Nick Fury was a grim, somewhat immortal former WWII Sargent who  no leads a covert military group known as S.H.I.E.L.D  A character like that needs a manly actor, who's more manly than Kurt Russell?

Incredible Hulk





A brilliant, obsessed scientist, Bruce Banner is experimenting on Gamma radiation for the US government in a race against the Russians (It's the 80s, the Russians are the villain in every movie.) Looking to get results faster, the Russians sabotage Banner's work and he's caught in an explosion.  The world thinks he's dead, but the U.S. government and the Kremlin both know he has become the Hulk.  The KGB hire A.I.M, an evil brain trust to help capture the Hulk and they send out MODOK to do the job.
Director:  Chris Columbus.   
Cast:  Jeff Goldblum as Bruce Banner.  Special effects puppetry as the Hulk.  General Thunderbolt Ross:  James Cromwell.  Betty Ross:  Phoebe Cates  The Leader:  Val Kilmer. MODOK: Anne Ramsey
Reasons Why:  As a writer Chris Columbus was a guiding force behind the Goonies and the Gremlins and as a director he gave us...two Home Alone movies.  Those weren't that bad, right.  The first one is funny.  Jeff Goldblum is the best geek the 80s and early 90s had.  He would be amazing as Bruce Banner.  Phoebe Cates was an 80s sex symbol ever since Fast Times at Ridgemont High...and she was in the Gremlins.  Cromwell had a long 80s history of playing military jerks so he would fit in great as Thunderbolt Ross, plus he always looked like an old guy...always.  Val Kilmer proved he could be a genius in...Real Genius (ugh) so here he would play the younger, more sinister version of The Leader, Hulks classic enemy.  Anne Ramsey, the creepy old woman from the Goonies and Throw Mamma from the train has the perfect face to be MODOK, A.I.Ms deadliest creation.

     Can't you just see her floating around menacing Bruce Banner..."Come to MODOK Slothy!"
 

 I could go on with these, but I'll spare you.  Who would you cast in 80s Marvel movies?  What about DC...outside of Superman and Batman, of course. 

The Sticker Price

Who in the world would ever think that they were entitled to a reward when ever they went to the bathroom? Toddlers would, that's who. The mini people of the world ages 1-3 think they need a reward for just about anything. “Pick up the blocks and you'll get a juice box! Drink your juice and you can play with the blocks. Stop kicking the cat and you'll get blocks and a juice box!” That's just what my wife has to say to motivate me, and we don't even have a cat. I like Hi-C, what can I say? By the way, I don't think Hi-C counts as juice in any way, shape or form. Does anybody remember Hi-C Ecto-Cooler? It had Slimer on the box and was a delicious blend of artificial fruit flavoring and Ectoplasm.

That undead taste you can't

resist!!

                                                           

Unlike me, our toddler won't just work for pedestrian rewards like juice boxes. No, she needs stickers, the currency of the toddler universe. Much like how boxes of cigarettes are used to barter for goods and services in the prison system, stickers have a strong amount of buying power in the toddler world. Have you ever seen a toddler stab another toddler with a makeshift rattle shank for a sheet of Tinkerbell stickers? I haven't. If you have, you live in a dark and horrible world.

 

"If I miss one second of Yo-Gabba-Gabba

I will kill you all!"

 

     Like almost anyone with a child, we are no strangers to the doctor's office. Those visits didn't go too well at first. Stuff went down, bad stuff. Screaming, gnashing of teeth, rending of limbs...that was just me in the waiting room after I found out they updated Goofus and Gallant in Highlights magazine. It got to the point that anytime the toddler would see anyone in a white lab coat, she would cry. Lab techs, specialists, even good old Doc Brown from Back to the Future. Luckily, these genius medical professionals know how the toddler brain works. After each visit she would get to pick two stickers and all would be well. Now, she rolls up her sleeves and is ready to have half her blood drawn, just as long as she gets that Hello Kitty sticker. A few days ago she tripped over the sprinkler head in our front yard and started to cry. I went to comfort her and she said “I hurt leg...need doctor, get sticker.” Yes, future medical students, you will go to school for 7 years, work your butts off and still be known as sticker peddlers to the toddler community. Welcome to the world of an average parent.

Now that potty training is in full effect I feel like some kind of black market, seedy sticker dealer. “Hey toddler, you want a My little pony riding a T-Rex on Sesame Street sticker? All you got to do is make with the poo!” That's all it takes now. Potty training has been a constant headache, but now that we started a Pee and Poo sticker chart, it's her favorite thing on the planet. Who wouldn't love to get a reward for something you do multiple times a day, every day until you die? If my wife were to get a bunch of Marvel Stickers from the dollar tree, maybe I would stop leaving my clothes on the bathroom floor. Don't judge, we all need a little extra motivation from time to time. It's either Marvel stickers or a pizza party.

Toddler Birthday parties don't need to suck!

      I rarely get psyched about toddler birthday parties.  Why would I?  I'm never allowed to hit the pinata anymore, I am banned from the bounce house and a certain birthday cowboy has a restraining order against me after I got his horse drunk and rode him through the rose parade while wearing a nacho hat.  I don't even get a goodie bag anymore!  Okay, some of that may have been fictional, the truth is as our toddler's birthday rapidly approaches, I am really excited.  This is going to be one kick ass Mickey Mouse party.  Besides the draw that giant anthropomorphic vermin generally bring, there are important reasons to be excited about this particular party. 

     For those of you who do not know, our toddler was born with a werido condition called Laryngomalacia.  Click the link for the full details, but the short of it is that Luna had to undergo surgery at 2-months old.  It was during this time that we learned that she also had a small tear in her trachea.  We were told that this tear wouldn't heal until she was 3.  Our idea was to hold a big birthday bash for her 3rd birthday.  From that point on up until this last summer we were frequent guests at the Ear, Nose and Throat specialist.  Then after her second surgery (This time she had tonsil surgery) we learned that the tear in the trachea was no longer a threat and we no longer had to go to the ENT.  So the big birthday bash comes one year early!
      Luna is a big fan of Mickey Mouse and his friends.  She knows the songs, dances the hot dog dance and is even a member of the Disneyilluminati.  Well, not the full fledged Disneyilluminati, but the toddler chapter.  So, my wife with her amazing Mother powers was able to whip up all of the props and goodies to make this a great Mickey Mouse party.  I even got in on the planning and started whipping up our party playlist.  We've got all the greats in there....The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme, the Hot Dog song, Mickey Mouse Club theme from the 50s and even Frank Zappa's rare Seventy minute "Mickey Battles the Phantom Blot" album that only exists in my imagination.  
     My wife Mercy has even guilt tripped her brother into being Mickey Mouse....if he doesn't do it, Tinker Bell will die!  If you don't have a toddler, you may think this is the lamest party in the world, I may have joined you a few years ago.  Now, it's a whole new ball game, I can't wait to beat all the 1-4 year olds at pin the nose on Mickey...yes, that's a real game.  I may even invent some sort of toddler tackle football game where everyone wears those giant white Mickey gloves...maybe next year.  Now if you'll excuse me I have to find a hiding place for all the goodie bags I'm going to pilfer.    

Titles, names and silly games.

Two year olds are funny people.  They are pure, they have no phony airs about themselves at all.  A two year old doesn't have to lie to kick it.  (That's what my homies back in the hood used to say....the hood being the small cow town in Northern California I grew up in.) My two year old daughter, like most two year olds is pretty much running on basic needs and wants 99% of the time.  If she needs/want's food, you'll know.  If she needs/wants to be changed, you'll know.  If she needs/wants love, you'll know. If she needs/wants a piece of chocolate she saw her Pop-Pop sneaking out of his closet, not only will you know, but the neighbors will know because she will throw herself on the ground and act as if she was just shot in the leg with a poisonous blow dart.  As an aside, yes I had chocolate hidden in my closet.  It was a birthday chocolate from my Mother in Law and I didn't want the temptation of keeping it out in the open...but, since I was the one who hid it from myself, I made the mistake of telling myself where I hid my own chocolate and I would occasionally steal pieces from myself.  The last I checked my secret chocolate hideaway, there was a short note of apology written on the empty package that read:  From myself to me...I ate your chocolate, get over it you fat pig....enclosed is ten bucks to buy more chocolate.
     Toddlers are mostly all need based.  What they seem to need beyond the basic nurturing is constant attention, attention that I don't always give her.  I'm not saying I don't watch my toddler and just let her walk outside and hot wire cars or anything like that.  I love to watch my daughter, I watch almost everything she does when I can, the problem is she wants more than that.  There are times when toddlers seem to want their every action celebrated like they are reality television stars.  It's like narrating a nature documentary.  "The wild Luna has risen from her slumber with her hair all askew.  She has managed to strip off her pajamas and has removed her soaking wet diaper.  Adept with tools, the wild Luna now swings the diaper, hitting her father in the face."  Of course, there are those other moments when she's being sneaky and trying to eat a penny she somehow materialized from thin air, or encase herself in a roll of toilet paper she confiscated from the bathroom.  Seriously though, I know that attention and encouragement is a very important need that should be embraced.  That's why I play with the toddler when I get home.  My wife and I now lead a life that is much like a tag team wrestling match.  My wife spends the whole day with the toddler, nurturing her, teaching her lesson, and being a great mom.  I appear, tag my wife and run around the house screaming like a loon.  She likes when I make capes for the both of us and we play super hero, using pillows as cars and flinging them across the city/hallway.  Now that Luna is much more verbal, she likes to play games that involve each of us saying our own scripted lines. By scripted lines, I mean things I say off the top of my head and things she screams from the top of her lungs. Yesterday, I had to open the bedroom door, shaker her hand and say "It's nice to meet you."  Yeah, I know she didn't tell me to do that...she's two.  But for some reason she found it all hilarious.  So, Luna's part in the game was to slam the door in my face while saying, “Good bye Ryan.” Then she would double over in laughter. She knows that she is not supposed to call me that, and it brings her joy to ignore the title of “Pop-Pop” and call me Ryan during a silly game. Yeah, I know it's my name, but she didn't need to know that!
I tried to re-direct her. “My name is Pop-Pop.” That wouldn't work. She would just shut the door and say “Bye Ryan.” and laugh and laugh. So, I tried it again. Same result. The third and fourth times also had the same results. Finally after the fifth time of me saying.... “My name is Pop-Pop!” She laughed and said, “Bye Pop-Pop...Ryan!” Toddlers aren't the only people who thrive on basic needs. I need my toddler to stop calling me Ryan, but I'll take what I can get.

American Horror Story: Asylum...A plate of crow for me!

I was so wrong about American Horror Story: Asylum!  The ending was nothing that I predicted in an earlier blog post.  Remember...if you haven't seen the show yet...there are spoilers in this post.

Kit Walker, fresh off of losing his love Grace to his other love, Alma whom chopped her up with an ax last week will go back to Briar Cliff after finding Sister Jude there.  I think Kit will confront Monsignor, now Cardinal Timothy Howard.  My thought is that this confrontation will reveal that Timothy is somehow behind the alien shenanigans because he himself is an alien hybrid.  This works because we have seen how fast Timothy healed after being nailed to the cross several episodes ago...we also know he was very interested in Kit and Grace's baby and he may have orchestrated Kit being brought to Briar Cliff in the first place.

Man was I really wrong about that one!  The writers sort of abandoned the whole alien portion of the story.  Yes, we do see a final image of a terminally ill Kit Walker being taken away by the extraterrestrials, but that's all we get.  As for Timothy Howard...I was dead wrong.  He was nothing more than a corrupt church official and he ended his own life rather than face the music about the abuses at Briar Cliff.  

Sister Jude, now just a crazy lady in the asylum will help Kit defeat the now exposed Timothy and they will lock him in the bowls of the Asylum.  I think the immortal, half alien Timothy will be the creature who ripped off Adam Levine's arm in the first episode. 

We learn early on in the last episode that it is the Modern Day Bloody face that chops Adam Levine's arm off.  He was all hopped up on Meth and just happened to be touring the building, using his mother's audio book as a guide.  When the horror tourists came in...he chopped away.  Although, we never learn who the other bloody face imposters were.  It was hinted that they were some sort of bloody face devoted murder cult...but no back story is given.

Lana Winters will confront her son, the modern day bloody face and he will kill her.  She lets him kill her, believing that she caused his killing spree by abandoning him.

I was wrong about that too!  That final scene was a great twist and for me it made up for an otherwise lack luster final episode.  

You may disagree with my analysis, but one thing is certain, it was an overall great show that provided a lot of thrills.  The directing was superb.  I am hoping that Ryan Murphy will be able to get Brian DePalma to direct a few episodes during Season 3....which I predict focusing on the Salem Witch trials...probably set in the modern day, but with ramifications from past events.  I could be wrong, since I am eating a big pile of crow now for my past predictions.  At least I don't bet on sports.

I choo-choo-choose you!

Okay, anyone who knows me knows that I love to write, and not just this blog, either.  When I have time...which I don't...I am working on a short story collection.  Each story is set in the same interconnected, cohesive universe, meaning characters, organizations, beings and events will cross over.  The stories are mostly Sci-Fi and horror, with comedy thrown in for good measure.  I would like help with choosing which story to write first.  Once I write that first story, then I can get the proverbial ball rolling...wherever proverbial balls roll to.

Here are your candidates to choose from.  These aren't going to be the only stories in the book, by any means, but these are the ones that I have developed the most at this point.

Please choose a favorite and let me know!

The strangers at the door-

Randy Wells is a teenage boy who comes home after school to find that his room has been taken over by his mother's drug addicted new friends. Randy's mother, strung out on meth, kicks him out of the house and he is forced to live with his senile old grandmother. Walking around his small town at night, Randy saves an apparent homeless man from being burned to death by classmates from his high school. Feeling sorry for the man, Randy secretly houses him in his grandmother's garden shed, bringing him food and helping him regain his health. Soon, the man reveals that he is an immortal blood drinking creature named Gorlock. The eternal creature offers to kill anyone who has ever wronged the boy. When Randy finally learns that the creature's past isn't too different from his own, he is forced to rethink the offer or see his morality fade away.

Arbor Mortis-
Two friends, David and Alex are separated during a High School field trip in the woods and each find ancient, mystic trees.  David finds a metal orb from Arbor Viate, the tree of life, while Alex finds one from the evil Arbor Mortis, the tree of death.  The two keep their secret from one another, but their friendship becomes strained once they compete for the same girl, Nova Powaqa.  Now rivals, the two try to one up each other to win her affections.  To make matters worse, an ogre type creature begins to stalk High School Students.  When the truth about the ogre is revealed, what the boys do next will make or break their longtime friendship.

The last days of Miss Fortune-

Euela Mae Frizzelle and her husband Floyd once wowed audiences with their magic and variety act at their Chinese dinner theater, the Miss Fortune.  When her friends and neighbors begin disappearing, Euela contemplates selling the dinner theater to the weird art dealer next door.  Before she can decide to sell, Euela begins to see her husband's ghost and finds herself embroiled in an adventure involving monsters, otherworldly assassins, a washed up spiritualist detective and a pulp magazine villain.

Tropeolis-

A bustling metropolis where corruption reigns supreme, Gridley is a city in dire need of heroes.  That's why the Trope Stones appeared.  These mysterious stone tablets appear anywhere in the city, transforming seemingly random people into living comic book characters.  When the city's top hero is framed for the corrupt mayor's murder, a homeless man becomes the powerful King Samson and begins a crusade to rid the city of corruption.  When the darkness of the city weighs on him, Samson's faith is tested and his powers begin to fade.

Thank you!  There is more blog to come too...comic reviews and more than enough family madness to write seven million posts about!

Sunday Morning weirdness and an AHS: Asylum prediction...

Good morning, blog-o-sphere-landia.  It's Sunday and do I get to sleep in?  NO!  I have to go to work in a little bit.  YAY!  EMPLOYMENT!  Look, I am really happy I have two jobs, there are many people who have much less.  So, to get pumped up for work I was looking for a quick musical inspiration on Youtube.  So, I went to my usual source...weird Noel Fielding material.

Yes, it's a weird dance song about a Utopian society based on the concept of Mash potatoes and their use as a sustainable source of building materials.  Plus...there is one creepy ass clown with a bowl on his head and hands in his stomach.  GOOD MORNING!  
Creepy clowns lead to creepy night creatures.  I went from Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy to his work on the Mighty Boosh and found the Hitcher song.

Yes, it's all a weird bit of fun to crank you up on a Sunday.  Cockney Nut job is my favorite lyric ever.

So on to the American Horror Story: Asylum Prediction....

If you've seen the show, you know that next Wednesday is the final episode. If you have not seen the show, but want to, don't read on...there be spoilers ahead...Here is how I think it is going to break down....

Kit Walker, fresh off of losing his love Grace to his other love, Alma whom chopped her up with an ax last week will go back to Briar Cliff after finding Sister Jude there.  I think Kit will confront Monsignor, now Cardinal Timothy Howard.  My thought is that this confrontation will reveal that Timothy is somehow behind the alien shenanigans because he himself is an alien hybrid.  This works because we have seen how fast Timothy healed after being nailed to the cross several episodes ago...we also know he was very interested in Kit and Grace's baby and he may have orchestrated Kit being brought to Briar Cliff in the first place.

Sister Jude, now just a crazy lady in the asylum will help Kit defeat the now exposed Timothy and they will lock him in the bowls of the Asylum.  I think the immortal, half alien Timothy will be the creature who ripped off Adam Levine's arm in the first episode. 

Lana Winters will confront her son, the modern day bloody face and he will kill her.  She lets him kill her, believing that she caused his killing spree by abandoning him. 

That's just my theory, it might go in a completely different direction, but if I get one of those points right, I will scream, I TOLD YOU SO!